He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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