she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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