my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
