Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Im part way to drunk.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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