i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
