if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
