ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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