At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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