If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
