The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize