We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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