Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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