i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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