My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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