Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
