I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
