in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
