I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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