exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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