im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
