he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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