and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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