I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
