Your tits are I can't wait for
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
