What a fucking waste of an outfit
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
