Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
