smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
