when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
so explain again why im purple
no
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
