I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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