Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
