My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
