Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
