His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
