i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
