it's too hot outside to masturbate.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize