That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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