the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
it glows. i had to have it.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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