There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
