I wish I only lived at night.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
