is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize