Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
You are a genius and a whore.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
