i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
