brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Randomize
