life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
