Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
