And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
