New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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