Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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