a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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