i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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