Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
