He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
