i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
