Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
