You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
