The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
In other news, I just burned my penis
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
