I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
