If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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