she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
