I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize