singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Randomize
