Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
